Jaheim Likes To Crash Celebrity Funerals
I logged onto Twitter briefly yesterday just in time to see this photo of Jaheim being tweeted on my TL:
I know. I was just as confused as the dude in the white Kangol on the right was. Why is Jaheim dressed like The Joker? Is he looking towards the heavens for the answer to some profound question? Did he just toss a ball into the air? I wasn’t sure what was going on. And then I saw someone named @sleezydee tweet Jaheim “YO SUIT LOOK LIKE THE INSIDE OF A VAMPIRE PURSE MATERIAL.” I screamed! Do vampires carry purses? I’m not really sure. But if they do, I bet their purses are in fact lined with this fabric. Between that and the grape jelly references “Jaheim wanna be grape jelly so bad”, I had a headache from laughing. Meanwhile over on Ja’s page he was alternately insulting people (” …nigga watch ya mouth 4 I give u a new smile.”), throwing out homophobic slurs “Thanks for the promo, homo.” and encouraging them to “go get a education because a minds a terrible thing to waist.” Yes. That really happened.
But so did this:
#LeperdKaun. ( ._.) So, I got life from Jaheim’s purple suit and his Everest College Dropout (hey, that might work for a future album title. I’m picturing him in Yeezy’s bear costume wearing that purple suit.) tweets before logging off for a few hours. When I returned to Twitter later in the evening, I went back over to Ja’s page (yeah…he refers to himself as that) to see if I missed anything. Since I was now on Twitter web, I could see the recent images on his page. I noticed the purple suit pic, along with several others. Apparently dude had a photo shoot at the funeral he attended that day…
including this pic taken in the restroom…
I’ve been to several funerals. I have zero pictures from those funerals. Wanna know why? Cuz I’m too busy mourning to give a good gotdamn about posing for a camera. Anyway, so I keep scrolling through his pics. And then I GASPED. NO. This can’t be. He wore this suit…to Whitney Houston’s funeral! B-b-b-but wait it gets worse! He wasn’t even invited to the funeral! Yes honey. There’s even more! Not only did Jaheim crash Whitney Houston’s funeral in this coon ass suit, but he live tweeted the funeral crashing. I read the captions under his photos & was shocked.
“Hey ery1 (eyes) have great news! Altho I didn’t have access to be on the panel with all the guess on this glorious day I made calls all night literally & didn’t get any response so I just gave up! Until this morn’n. I got a text from my musical Godmother the (heart)ly Dyana Williams who’s been an angel by my side since day1 before It all came to pass in 1999! She’s been my trainer in media and very close to the late GREAT TEDDY PENDERGRASS! I mean very close! That’s another story, howeva she text me the news that she tried all in her power to get me a invitation but no luck, & said Ja! At this point u should just Go there & try ya luck, I really didn’t wanna. But I loved the idea so I did so! Went to show my (heart)& support for the QUEEN WHO MADE IT POSSIBLE 4 Ja! Howeva I prayed the whole ride thr asking GOD to have FAVOR & HE DID SO!!! Pray’n really works!!! Although I did know any1 personally GOD saw that I had a _ for her & HE DID SO WELL! MAKE DREAMS CUM TRUE. After MISS’N Luther’s funeral but justice it to lay my hand on his casket, I was so happy just to do that!”
Girl what?! There are so many layers of wrong going on here. It’s like a wrong lasagna. And the cheese oozing between the layers is comprised of that raggedy ass old Steve Harvey 3/4 length zoot suit. Jaheim crashed the funeral of a pop icon (and Luther’s too apparently) THAT HE’D NEVER.EVEN.MET! After harassing god knows who “all night” trying to get an invitation. How do you BEG for an invitation to a PRIVATE funeral? And furthermore, how do you tell thousands of people that you begged to be invited to a funeral, or anywhere else for that matter?! Then he threw his “musical godmother” under the bus by putting it out these tweets that it was her bright idea for him to try to crash the funeral. And finally he takes several pictures in front of the church doing some strange, staged praying pose coonery all while getting side eyes from INVITED guests and takes photos later that evening in his car next to the “obituary” that was “given” to him by a family member.
Could this situation be any more of a mess? Of course it can! Cuz there’s video. Yup. Someone got video of him trying to get into the funeral.
In short, Jaheim is an illiterate, irrelevant, classless mooncricket who makes Tyrese look like a Rhodes Scholar. He’s a few tacos short of a fiesta because clearly he’s not mentally stable enough to grasp the concept of there being something terribly wrong with live tweeting that you’re crashing a private funeral that was SO at capacity that the former husband of the deceased and his children (her step-children) couldn’t even be properly accommodated. I wasn’t a Jaheim fan before yesterday but I damn sure refuse to support any of his future
clothing choices/corn rowsprojects. I can’t remember when I last saw such a disgusting, tacky display of self-righetousness. Posing in the bathroom at a funeral that you weren’t invited to & tweeting people telling them that they don’t have class? Pot, meet kettle. He didn’t go there to show his respects to the family. He went there to STUNT. And then just a few minutes ago as I’m sitting here writing this post, this coon posts pictures that he took with his phone INSIDE THE SANCTUARY. The family gave explicit instructions to all attendees to turn their phones off. Not only did he crash the funeral but he took pictures inside, Instagrammed them and posted them on Twitter. What a scumbag. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one that took the pic that was on the cover of The Enquirer. But if he did, his dumb ass will tweet that later on today I’m sure.
In parting: Jaheim is a piece of shit. I hope the family sues him for these pics he took inside the sanctuary. Oh, and If you crash my funeral looking like an extra from Janet Jackson’s “Alright” video, I promise you I will haunt the entire fuck out of you and your family.
If you want to see more photos from “The Stuntastic Adventures of Jaheim” , they can be found here: https://twitter.com/#!/officialjaheim/media/grid
*in my best Flavor Flav impersonation voice* Woooooooooooooooooowww…
that really sucks, Jaheim. And I liked “Finding My Way Back” from his latest album, too. Now every time I hear his song or his name, I’ll have to shake my head in shame.